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While directing a small groups ministry, and talking with others that are passionate about groups around the country, I have noticed that there are leaders who miss out on significant spiritual growth opportunities for their small group. Often it is because they are not intentional with evaluating whether or not their group makes an impact on the lives of those that attend. When trying to figure out if your small group is healthy and growing one of the best things you can do is some self evaluation. There are four major areas to consider to ensure your group is achieving maximum impact:
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God - Your personal relationship with God and your group's relationship with God.
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Each other - The depth of your relationships with your group members and their relationships with each other.
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Leadership - The number of future leaders your group is producing and you are personally investing in.
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Evangelism - The relationships your group has with un-churched people and the passion they tap into to connect those people to God.
Lets take some time to now dig deeper into these four categories and begin our self evaluation.
God: How often do you pray for your group each week?
Prayer is a key component to Christian living but it is even more critical for Christian leaders. Particularly small group leaders. Not only does regular prayer keep your spiritual life on track but praying for your group members keeps you thinking about them throughout the week. When you pray for the individuals in your group and their specific needs you will find yourself wondering how they are doing with their problems and you are more likely to contact your members throughout the week. The major benefit that comes with an increase in communication is often and increase in attendance. The more often you as a leader connect with your group outside of the meeting, the more likely it is that they regularly attend.
Do you and your group members discuss personal time spent with God?
To discuss your personal spiritual time with God, you actually have to do it first. Again, as a group leader, you set the pace for your group. If you have a regular devotional time with God and then talk about the experience in a positive way, your group is more likely to want that experience in their own life. One way to discuss this with the group is ask them how they spend time with God. Make sure you share ideas about how everyone attempts to pray and study more frequently. The one thing that our group members often have in common is the feeling that they want to increase the time they spend with God. Hopefully by helping our groups talk about it, we can initiate life change and help take some positive steps in spending more time in prayer and bible study.
Does your group spend time talking about prayers that God has answered?
I am regularly surprised at how many groups ask for prayer needs but don’t talk about how God has answered their prayers! So often we simply ask God for what we want or need and ignore the answers. 1 John 5:14 says,14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.I encourage groups to keep a prayer journal and keep track of what God does. If utilizing a printed study guide, simply take the back page or cover of the book and record the prayer requests and how God answers them there. Some discussion guides actually provide a space for prayer needs so be sure to thoroughly check it first. Not only does it help the group remember everyone’s needs but it puts a spotlight on how God responds to our prayers. We may not always like how God responds, but he always does.
Each other:
How many times does your group meet in an average month?
Meeting frequency has a direct impact on spiritual growth. Christians in the first century met often, especially when they were first getting started. Acts 2:46-47 points this out,
46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
I have always been a fan of groups that meet weekly. My mid-week small group meeting gives me the boost I need to make it through the week. When I first started working in small group ministry I actually thought weekly groups were the only successful groups. That is because our church had a handful of small groups that met every other week and half of them quickly folded. However, after some better evaluation of why they failed I discovered it was not due to only meeting twice per month. It was poor leadership. The right leader can make a bi-monthly group work if there is frequent communication, but less than every other week (in my opinion) is ineffective.
How many parties, socials, or fun group activities has your group had in the past 3 months?
Activities your group does together are just as important as the spiritual discussions you have at formal group meetings. When tough times hit in the lives of your group members, it will be the relationships that you have built with them that allows you the right to speak into their situations. Here are some activities we do in my group:
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Summer Barbeque
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Board Game Night
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Dinner at a buffet where the kids eat free (we all have young ones)
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Girls night out at the movies
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Guys day out playing golf
How many times have you invited someone from your group over for a meal in the past two months?
Leading a small group is a big commitment. Many of us that lead also host the group in our home but is just having a meeting enough? There is something about experiencing a meal with someone that creates a sense of trust and relaxation. That is why it is so important to invite your group members to your house for dinner! If the thought of preparing a dinner seems to overwhelming then start with something easy like coffee and dessert one evening. When Jesus was teaching his followers we see him frequently feeding those that were with him. Plus it will give those you invite a chance to be a part of your life outside of the group context. I have met some of my closest friends through this simple act food and friendship.
Leadership: Does your group have an assistant-leader or an apprentice?
Leadership development is key to any healthy ministry and every leader should be a part of the leadership development process. Sometimes that means identifying leaders and other times it means helping those leaders learn the basics of how you do what you do as you serve God and your church. Identifying the right people is so important we should always start with prayer and ask God for wisdom in this process. James 1:5 tells reminds us,
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
When choosing an apprentice to aid in leading a small group there are three questions I encourage leaders to answer:
- Who in your group do you really enjoy spending time with?
- Do people enjoy their contribution to the discussions you have in your meetings?
- Have they mishandled any conflicts in the group?
If you enjoy spending time with them, people respond well to them in group discussions, and they aren’t at odds with others in the group they you have a prime candidate! Have a discussion with that person about taking on some responsibility in the group and see how they respond.
How many people in your group participate by leading different components of the meeting?
The less you have to do in a small group meeting the better! Not only is it better for you as a leader by taking some of the responsibility off of your shoulders but it is better for you group members since it gives them a sense of ownership of the group. It will also give you an opportunity to see other lead and help your church identify future leaders that may not have been noticed before. Here is a list of areas you can have others in your group take turns in leading:
- Ice breaker question
- Bible reading during the study
- Prayer time
- Snack schedule
- Childcare arrangements
- Organize a social event for your group
Who in your group would you like to see become a leader? Start small and ask that person to take on one of those roles and see how they handle the task. If they perform well, you will have a new leader on your hands in no time!
Evangelism:How often does your group pray for people far from God?
While evangelism may not be a spiritual gift we all have it is a responsibility we have all been given. One of the last things Jesus said before leaving earth is found in Matthew 28:18-20,
18 All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
One simple way to encourage your group to start thinking about people that don’t know Jesus is through prayer. During your prayer time make sure to talk about friends and family that don’t know God. Pray for those people specifically by name. Some groups utilize a popular visual tool called the “open chair.” During each group meeting this method requires that your group leave one chair empty. That single empty chair represents those who are far from God that need to be a part of your group.
How many parties or gatherings have you had, not spiritual in nature, that your group members could invite their non-Christian friends to?
Sometimes opportunities to rub shoulders with people far from God have to be created and your group has the potential to create them. It is rare that a non-Christian simply shows up at a small group meeting so we have to be intentional with our efforts. That means working with group members to ensure that everyone in the group has the opportunity to invite their friends that have no relationship with Jesus that is safe and non-threatening. Everyone in the group must understand that there is no spiritual agenda to these gatherings, simply have a good time. Trust me eventually the question will come up, “How do you know these people?” and your reply will be, “Oh we actually hang out every week here at my house on Tuesday nights where we talk about marriage, raising kids, the Bible and all sorts of stuff. You should come sometime.”
When a visitor attends your group for the first time, how often do you follow up with a phone call, card, or an invite to breakfast or lunch?
Believe it or not, follow up is where so many group leaders make a mistake. After someone attends your group for the first time, make contact within 24 hours. It can be a simple email or a phone call but it is so important to the visitor to know that they are welcome in the group. Attending an established group for the first time can be quite intimidating because it is obvious to the visitor that they are solid relationships, inside jokes, and strong bonds of which they are not a part. When contact is made you may learn that they weren’t comfortable in your group, and that is fine. See if you can help them connect somewhere else in your church or in another small group and that will demonstrate that you really do care about them.These questions help me figure out if I am on target with leading my group. Hopefully, you find them useful. You may even want to bring them to your next meeting and discuss them with your group members. You may be surprised with what they have to say!
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