If you watch the video below you can see some experimentation that BMW is doing in changing the skin of their cars to a flexible material instead of rigid steel or fiberglass.
How does this apply to groups?
In one question - is your group model flexible? Does it allow for variety or is it rigid? At the conference I just attended Heather Zempel said that "maturity does not equal conformity." I AGREE. However I would follow that with rigidity does not equal excellence.
I belive that just like the BMW experiment we can build a small group leadership model that has a strong frame but stills allows flexibility for different styles of leadership and different types of groups. Take a look at the video below and let me know what you get from the concept...
Our Pastoral Care Coordinator, Steve Lybrand, recently had some conflict in a new group restore group he started. The group is called Making Life Work and it is focused on helping people deal with negative behaviors in their life and help them deal with dependency and co-dependency. Here is what Steve had to say about his recent conflict:
Last night after our MLW meeting we had a leaders meeting. An area of conflict came up. Not serious, but it did touch peoples emotions and the discussion reflected it. What I loved is that the issue was brought out, discussed in a heated fashion and the group came to a concensus with the two members it mostly effected agreeing to work out the details together. It is a classic example of what Patrick Lencioni describes should happen in The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Everyone got to speak, and though uncomfortable we stayed on track to resolve the situation.
How different from what many experience growing up in dysfunctional households. There are three rules generally learned in unhealthy personal or work environments; Don't speak, don't trust, don't feel. You see, in unhealthy environments speaking openly, particularly about difficult issues gets you in trouble. You can't trust because something which was perceived innocently last week might trigger an angry reaction this week. And you can't feel because those two create a crazy environment and feeling crazy is generally not an attribute. Ultimately nothing gets done and resentments build.
Often when people tell me that their group is going through conflict I tell them that it is heathy for them to work through the experience. Conflict is necessary for relationships to grow and if it is dealt with properly everyone can benefit.
I am really enjoying Bill Search's Blog and I can't wait to read his book Simple Small Groups. He recently addressed some issues that can kill a small group and that they all boil down to three catagories for a group leader to examine. Environmental, logistical and relational. Here is what he we should counsider asking ourselves about these areas.
With environment you should ask these questions: Is there adequate and comfortable seating? How's the temperature in your home? Does your home have a pleasant scent? Are there distracting sounds? Are your pets or kids running around?
You should ask yourself about the logistical area: Do you start on time? Do you end on time? Are you prepared? Do you keep to a schedule that allows adequate time for fellowship, study, discussion, and prayer? Do you meet often and on a consistent basis? Are you giving homework when you should not be? Do you "sell" the next series that you are going to do a couple weeks in advance? Is there food?
The last area you should ask questions in is focusing on relationships: Are you teaching or facilitating discovery? Is someone in the group being excessively dominant? Do you have cliques forming? Is discussion turning into debate? Are building in the right amount of social time? Are you taking interest in your group members more than the study? Are you keeping the main thing the main thing? Again is there food?
Some churches make the mistake of having a one size fits all group mentality. The problem with this is that if you only have one type of small group at your church, you are automatically excluding people from being a part of what you are doing in group ministry. Many people have different learning styles and even different social styles.
Some like large groups(20-40), some like smaller groups (6-15), and some like even smaller accountability/transformation groups (2-3). By offering groups of different sizes you can attract many types of people to get involved. The smaller the group the less anonymous someone can be and the intensity of the spiritual growth increases.
I would also encourage group leaders to define the type of group they are leading. For example, at our church we have the following classifications:
Home Teams - by far the most popular, these are groups that are just as social as they are spiritual. They meet at least twice a month, discuss the Bible and do fun activities together year round.
Explore Groups - These groups are short term groups (6-12 weeks) that meet weekly to study the Bible or a designated topic from a Biblical perspective.
Restore Groups - These are groups that are focused on helping people recover and cope with challenges associated with addictions and co-dependency.
By organizing the focus of what a leader is trying to do we can help them be more effective. Doing this also helps those trying to get connected with others that have similar interests and needs. When that happens we increase the chances for ongoing participation and real life change. I love it when people tell me that their small group feels like home!
