Sometimes as group leaders we can be control freaks. And in a small group environment we need to remember that when we are too controlling in during our meetings it can often mean we are less relevant.
Often when we are making our way through a Bible study we have prepared for, or some other study guide we've purchased, a topic will pop up during discussion that the study doesn't address. I'll never forget the day that my group was right in the middle of our Bible study in the book of James and we were supposed to be talking about temptation because that is what I was prepared for! However, my group needed to have a different discussion that night.
Every question we discussed during our study kept bringing us back to the sermon we had heard on Sunday. The previous Sunday's sermon was all about gossip and healthy conflict resolution. After having two questions in a row on temptation turn into discussion on gossip and conflict I quickly realized I needed to close the study guide and put it down. We completely shifted gears and spent the next 30min going where the group needed.
To be an effective discussion leader in our groups we have to remember not to be a control freak about our prepared studies or study guides. While those tools are great, they cant predict the needs that our group has each week. So as a leader, pay attention to where your discussion is going and pray for God to help you let the needs of your group control the discussion and not you.
Posted by: Frank Chiapperino in Untagged on
May 29, 2009
Kem Meyer, Communications Director at Granger Community Church, is going on a blog tour for her new book - Less Clutter, Less Noise. I recently asked her this question:
Our church seems motivated most to attend events and activities when things are announced from the platform. When there's no major push from the pulpit, using other forms of communication, how does one get the congregation excited and eager to participate in other things that are happening in the church?
Click here to learn the answer.
Posted by: Frank Chiapperino in group ministry on
May 25, 2009
My friend Brian Hofmeister has been reviewing some methods ministry for small groups in the church in a series of posts. I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately as we are restructuring groups in our church and it has been a good refresher. Here are the highlights of his review:
101 - Church Groups: The 101 version of small groups is run by the church. A local church promotes participant interest, recruits leaders, distributes curriculum, and schedules the meeting time for each small group. One church will loosen the reigns from this while another tightens, but the general rule is that Church Groups are run by the church.
- The Good - It's an easy system in that joining is as quick checking the box "sign me up."
- The Bad - dependency, discouragement, and force-fits. Some leaders become dependent on staff, becoming more of a "middleman" than a leader. Other leaders become discouraged, wanting to achieve bigger goals and set bigger plans than what is being handed them.
201 - Context Groups: A 101 group makes its first move to 201 when it pulls and responds to the needs of individual members within their gathering. To become a full-fledged 201 group however, leaders and members need to successfully form a new group amongst peers outside the church. A Context Group is a group that is formed from and for people in your everyday social context.
The Good - Context Groups get to build off of relationships that already exist, and at a time and place where the relationships are already happening. Not only is this friendly on the day planner, it merges the sacred and the secular for people.
The Bad - The set-back to Context Groups is their tendency to import the Church Group structure. What works in the church doesn't always works amongst friends, and therefore Context Groups will fall short without some creative customization.
301 - Multiplying Groups: Small Groups hit the 301 marker by birthing a new group. Regardless of whether the newborn group is a 101 or a 201, remarkable vision, leadership development, and fruitfulness has been achieved when one group can start another.
- The Good - 301 Groups are great for accelerated spiritual formation and broadening the reach of Jesus' church.
- The Bad- Setbacks come for 301 Groups when multiplication happens prematurely, or when ongoing support networks are absent.
401 - Mid Size Groups: With 20-50 in attendance, they're too big to be called a small group, and too small/informal to be called a church by most standards.
- Small Groups 401 offer very solid outlets for in-house leadership development and multiplication, as well as the strong potential for planting churches.
- It's tough to find a home, or other venue, that can facilitate 20+ people. Very few small group leaders express the interest, or the time it would take, to accept the challenge of upgrading to a pastor's role and quadrupling their group size.
To dig into the details click here to visit Brian's blog.
Sometimes in small group world we get caught up in the present. We think about how to enhance my group situation this week. How do I find a better study, how do I encourage my group to share deeply, or how can we support others through stress in life. However, as leaders we must also be thinking about the future. In order to have our churches remain culturally relevant we must understand the social tools that people use, especially young people. Technology changes rapidly, and social media tools are changing the way people interact and in some cases even enhancing it.
I was recently pointed to an interesting article by media and tech guy Dave Knox that provided some interesting data:
• Nearly half of US online adults are social media users, but 71% of online tweens and teens connect to a social network at least once a week.
• There are more Paypal accounts than Visa card holders.
• Americans sent 75 billion text messages in June 2008, a 160% increase from June 07.
• 70 million of the 90 million homes in the United States that are online have broadband connection speed and 37 percent of US Homes have Wireless or Wi-Fi.
• 9 out of 10 teens considers themselves to be "video gamers" and more than half play video games at least 3 times per week.
• 29% of teens would rather shop online than in a store.
• Consumers aged 18 - 26 are spending more time using the Internet (12.2 hours per week) than watching TV (10.6 hours per week) according to Forrester.
If almost half on adults on the web use the web use social media, than these tools are not a fad. They are not going away, and we should explore how they can be used to enhance community in the church. When 71% of the coming generation is using these tools, it cannot be ignored. This fall there will be a number of breakouts at the Group Life Conference on this very topic. If you have thought about attending you will want to be sure to be there this year. Plan ahead and go to the conference this fall. I will keep you posted as I find out more.
Posted by: Frank Chiapperino in group health on
Apr 25, 2009
One thing that never leaves a leader's plate is confrontation and conflict resoultion. However, sometimes it is challenging to know when you need to confront someone. I recently had to confront a family member on an inssue and it got me asking this question - How do we know when we should confront someone? A while back David Foster, author and pastor of The Gathering Church, wrote 10 signs it is time to confront:
1. It's time to confront when things aren't working out even after you've given them sufficient time to do so.
2. When you're avoiding each other.
3. When your silence is more about fear than the truth.
4. When allowing the contact to go on is hurting the other person.
5. When the contact is hurting other people.
6. When you see there is still time to redeem the relationship, the job, the person, or the potential future.
7. When you're responsible for the health and well-being of the people involved in the situation. You have the power to do something, therefore you have the obligation.
8. When you're able to separate the behavior from the person. You love the person always, even though you can't support the behavior.
9. When your integrity and reputation as a friend, manager, leader, or business owner is on the line, it's time to confront.
10. When you understand that sometimes love must be tough if it's truly love. Love that is based on a lie is indulgence. Love that is based on truth and applied with mercy and grace is truly a gift from God.
Last year I this time of year I was thinking about this topic when reading through proverbs. If you want to read my reflections, click here. One piece of advice as you proceed with dealing with conflict in your group and in your church... the longer you wait, the harder it gets. Do it now.
